The Weight of Glory

I’m hanging up my insecurities and the fears I’ve got to spare.
All the things I depended on disappeared into thin air.
Beneath my amplified weaknesses and the empty things I chase
Are happy endings I’ve created that I can’t let go to waste.

But I release, and vanquish my opinions on these petty, broken things.
And I believe; I’m picking up the pieces and handing you the frame.
With every angle I can’t see, I’m bearing the weight of glory.
I’m not sorry.

I’ve searched my soul for signs of life to take the place of this pain.
It’s been 40 days and nights since my perspective has seen the light of day.
It’s not my fault, it’s just my brain.
It’s playing tricks on who I am.

I can’t quit calculating all the steps I’m taking.
I can’t quit generating all the hopeless words I’m saying.
I can’t quit:
Justifying.
Overrating.
Magnifying.
Complicating.

With every angle I can’t see,
I’m bearing the weight of glory.

I’m not sorry.

Apology

When you first came into my life, I never slept through the night.
I couldn’t eat for weeks.
And the longer you stayed, the more I knew the truth:
I couldn’t live without you.

For days I told myself this could never happen to me.
But it did.
I had never met someone like you before,
And I haven’t since.

And everyone adored us and admired our perfection.
We weren’t perfect.
But then I think again about how we looked at our reflection in your mirror.
We were perfect.

And now, everyone that talks about you behind your back and says you’re not worth it,
I let them have their words.
I tell them they don’t know what they’re saying, but they can’t understand.
They’ve never known love apart from the world.

I have.

And now I’m back to where I started.
Waking up early in the morning, unable to fall asleep again.
Eating without tasting.

It’s the best worst feeling that’s ever been.

Second Chances: Lost & Found

To believe that humanity has no hope,
And realize, in the same day, that all is not lost.

When you can’t pretend anymore that what you do has no effect.
When you finally understand what they have been trying to tell you all along.

You can stand up underneath because love conquers all.
You can fall down again and again and again because you have been given the power to never be beaten.
You can see for the first time that your life is weaving back together, though it was never unravelling.
You found the missing piece, though it was never missing.

Second chances are given,
Because I’m the one who needs them.

But I Tried To Tell You

I tried to imagine the birds chirping.
I tried to imagine the daylight barely slipping in.
But there was no sunrise this time.
He wasn’t thrilled, and that scares me.
But I am keeping steady.

“And it’s over,
And I’m going under,
But I’m not giving up,
I’m just giving in.”
-Florence + The Machine